Kyouko's Despair
by KeitaSutaki
Summary: This is Kyouko's INNER thoughts and what not. This is depressing. Have fun with my crappy fanfic XD. I really didn't like how this turned out but...You guys have to read it...not me. SO HAVE FUN AND REVIEW!


**I DON'T OWN THIS FRANCHISE! COME AND GET ME BITC-*shot***

 **Okay so I'm recovering from surgery right now so sorry about the delayed updates and what not. Before I continue "Teasing Kyouko is Fun!" I want to type this little story cuz I was hit with inspiration from the song** **Dark Paradise** **by Lana Del Rey. This story is based around Kyouko and her INNER thoughts and how she must truly feel about certain things. So I don't wanna hear that she is out of character! This is how** **I** **imagine Kyouko's DEEP INNER thoughts. This is gonna be really sad so HAVE FUN!**

 **Kyouko's Despair**

 _"No! Please don't leave me alone! I'm begging you!"_

Kyouko had awoken in an abandoned hotel. "Sayaka..." She whispered. Sayaka seemed like she was already on the verge of breaking last time Kyouko had seen her. 

_"I finally found someone I could trust again...and yet... -STOP THINKING!"_

Kyouko shook her head. "No, She isn't going to leave me. right?" She spoke out to no one. "Wait...leave me? what? Oh...I really did let her in didn't I? Hah! That's weird for me" Kyouko changed her tone repeatedly throughout her words.

 _"She comforted me didn't she. Sayaka...is gonna leave me too isn't she..."_

Kyouko's words were the opposite of her thoughts. "Damn...I really can't leave that idiot alone can I."

 _"Sayaka...please be okay"_

"She is fine. Everything is fine." Kyouko reassured herself. She jumped out of the old, worn out bed and put her shorts and jacket on. "I will just check up on her and everything will be fine." Kyouko jumped out the window and landed on her feet flawlessly. "Sayaka." She whispered before running.

 **A while later...**

Kyouko finally found Sayaka at the train station, all alone.

"Sayaka! I've been looking for ya!" Kyouko tried to say cheerfully.

 _"No... what is this feeling. Something is definitely wrong...Sayaka."_

"I see...sorry for causing you trouble." Sayaka said emotionlessly.

"W-what's with you. This doesn't sound like you..." Kyouko said slightly more cautiously.

 _"No...No...Please no.."_

 **"I finally get what you meant...I mean what you had told me a while back..."** Sayaka said with her voice getting darker. **"Hope and despair must balance out...It's true that I may have saved people...but, in exchange for that, I cursed everything...That's what keeps everything at zero."** Sayaka then opened her hand, revealing her fully tainted soul gem.

"!?" Kyouko's eyes widened. "Sayaka! Don't tell me you!"

 _"You didn't purify your soul gem!? No! Sayaka! I feel like you are about to die Sayaka!"_ Kyouko screamed out into her mind.

 **"I was such an idiot..."** Sayaka's tears had dropped onto her soul gem before it had imploded on itself. Her, once a beautiful blue, soul gem had turned into a black, murky grief seed. It reeked of malice and curses. Sayaka's body flew lifelessly into the air as a witch had formed behind her.

...and all Kyouko could do was scream...

 _ **"SAYAKAAAAAAAAA!"**_ She screamed out.

 **Sometime later...**

Everything had been a blur for Kyouko. She could only remember the cries of Sayaka's best friend and bringing Sayaka's corpse to a hotel. The hotel was a lot nicer than the one Kyouko had been staying in before. She thought that if Sayaka were to come back, then it should be in a nicer bed, in a nicer room.

 _"She isn't gonna wake up..."_ Kyouko didn't feel the need to stop her negative thoughts. _"What was I expecting from any of this...This damn world...hates me.."_ Kyouko tried to fight back the tears that had started to flow rapidly from her eyes. "Dammit...Sayaka..."

"Sayaka...*hic*...SAYAKA!" Kyouko had screamed out. Finally Kyouko was pouring out her heart. "WHY! MOM, DAD, MOMO! SAYAKA! DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!" She continued to scream out. Kyouko screamed to the point where her lungs hurt, to the point where she couldn't breathe. It hurt.

 _ **It hurt. So much.**_

 **"SAYAKA DON'T LEAVE ME!"** Kyouko had her hands over chest, trying to force out all the painful air that was in her lungs. **"WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS!? WHAT DID I DO WRONG! I'M SORRY GOD! JUST PLEASE STOP!"** Kyouko's soul gem rapidly got darker and darker but, she didn't care. **"WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO! WHAT WILL MAKE THIS PAIN STOP!"** Kyouko slammed her soul gem onto the ground and continued to scream. **"STOP IT! JUST STOP! I'M SCARED! DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"** Kyouko screamed out as loud as she could, then fell to her knees.

 _ **"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."**_ Kyouko whispered in a trance. _ **"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...Mom...Momo...I'm sorry...Dad...I'm sorry...Dad.."**_

 _ **"Sayaka...I'm sorry..."**_

 _ **"Maybe...God will let me rest now...maybe...I can go to heaven now...I'm so tired..."**_

 **...**

Kyouko opened her eyes slowly. "Nn? Am I dead?" She questioned. Kyouko felt an enormous wave of heat. "KUh! What?" That was when Kyouko's eyes had finally, _Truly,_ opened.

 **OPHELIA**

That was the name Kyouko had thought of during her break down. The pressure of her father's death, which was ultimately her fault, and the rejection of Sayaka, who died. "Is that me?" Kyouko asked herself. _**"Regret...corrupted innocence...and unrequited love..."**_ That was Ophelia.

 _ **"Abandonment..."**_ That was Kyouko too.

She was on white horse, whom she had felt had forgotten about. "What was the importance of this horse? I feel like it's been with me for a long time... _How long have I been here...? Where is here..."_ Kyouko looked at the fog that stretched for miles and miles. "How long have I been wandering..." It felt like it had only been a few minutes but, at the same time, It felt like she had been there for years.

 _ **"Sayaka..."**_ Who was that again? Kyouko's memory started to fade. "Who am I?" _**"OPHELIA"**_

 _ **"**_ **Sayaka..."** Kyouko repeated. "Who is that?" and once again she questioned, "Who am I?"

 _ **"OPHELIA"**_

"So I am _Ophelia?_ What a pathetic end." Kyouko whispered. "Sayaka...I couldn't save you either..could I..."

"Sayaka? **Sayaka.** Who? _ **Sayaka.**_ " Kyouko's head flooded with her memories of the past.

 **"No, I didn't die. I didn't get to go to heaven. I didn't get to be saved. GOD! WHY! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME REST!?"** Kyouko screamed out.

 **"AM I NOT ALLOWED TO DIE GOD!? PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! I'M SORRY! SO PLEASE JUST LET ME DIE! I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE! SO KILL ME PLEASE!"** Kyouko's head started to fill with hatred, regret, fear, and most of all, _Sorrow_.

 _ **"YOU'VE SEEN THE LIFE I'VE LIVED! SO PLEASE GOD! LET ME SEE A HAPPY DREAM JUST THIS ONCE!"**_

 **And being full of sorrow, Kyouko had lost her mind in her own world. Forever in a loop of grief.**

 _ **...**_

 **YO! Sorry about how crappy and confusing this turned out. I honestly didn't like how it turned out in the end but, WHO CARES! I'm gonna use my surgery as an excuse for this being so bad! *cough* I'm in so much painnnnn my surgery has crippled my mind. *cough***

 **I WILL RESUME MY WORKS OF "TEASING KYOUKO IS FUN!" IN THE MORNING SO ENJOY THIS PEICE OF CRAP IN THE MEAN TIME!**


End file.
